We caught up with British Pole Instructor and food critic Faye to talk about who inspires her, her journey with mental health and why Pole is so important to her.
Who are you and what do you do?
I’m Faye.
I just do a lot of everything.
But never enough sleeping.
Tell me about your relationship with mental health.
My relationship with my mental health presently is the best it’s ever been.
I fell down the rabbit hole of poor mental health when I was fourteen, this was then ongoing for ten years due to a series of unfortunate events in my life.
Now that my life is the calm and settled lifestyle I’ve always dreamed of, it’s a lot easier to look after my mental health and use prevention techniques when myself or loved ones notice I’m becoming unwell.
My life is all sunshine and daisies right now, hence why it’s a lot easier to maintain good mental health. It’s a beautiful time for me presently, something I thought I would never achieve.
Is Pole Dancing something you used to help yourself in tough times or just something you enjoy?
Pole came into my life during a desperate grapple of trying to get out of tough times, it was the only thing I enjoyed when my world was filled with darkness, along feeling like it was falling apart. It was something to focus on, forcing me out of my brain and into my body.
Pole is the thing that’s helped me to stop self harming. Pole has been there for me when I’ve had no one to talk to. Pole was consistent and constant when I had no one around me like that. Pole taught me to be more confident and in control of the world around me.
Pole gave me a sense of purpose when nothing else could.
What is the quote of the day?
We are where we are, it is what it is.
I notice that your page is much less orientated towards food reviews and more towards your Pole work than it was. What changed?
The natural progression of life.
I reached a point with the account where I wanted to share other aspects of my life. I had long been the girl with Anorexia who likes to try different foods on instagram - And that was fantastic. But I am so much more than that.
I saw my move to New Zealand this year a clean slate, a fresh start everywhere. I applied that to everything in my life - including social media.
I wanted to focus more on my other passions, make more creative content and just be a little more myself.
I still keep my personal life closely protected on social media - In reality all people really know from my social media alone is that I like food, am healing from shitty mental health and spin around a pole.
Do you want to inspire other people with your journey or do you just post what you like?
I’ve always said I’m posting for me. I still am. If I inspire different people along the way then that is awesome but my priority for me is just to have a place to share different forms of creativity.
Have you faced objectification/sexualisation through your Pole work and how do you handle that (if you have)?
All the time. It’s a constant.
Most days, there will be a marriage proposal, a private dance request, BB SHOW ME YOUR VAGINE text or simp running to the DM to tell me if I was their girlfriend that I would have everything and a rocket ship.
You just have to take it with a pinch of salt, laugh at it and carry the fuck on.
At this point, it’s all white noise to me. I’ve heard and seen too much in this world to be remotely phased by the ideologies and thoughts of people I don’t care about, especially when it comes to the passion that’s kept me on this earth.
We can’t, and I for one will never deny the origins of where and how pole dance started. It’s my belief that we can express ourselves however we want through this form of movement. If you want to be sexy, be sexy. If you want to be strong, be strong. If you want to be flexible, get bendy. You can use pole to be whoever you want to be.
Who would you most want to meet over dinner and why?
David Goggins.
The Goggins mindset probably was my biggest inspiration during my exit out of deep anorexia. Maybe it’s his extreme athleticism, his journey with his own mental health or the fact that he’s a fucking badass.
I live my life by the 40% rule.
I don’t really have anything I want to say or ask him, I just want to buy him a dinner as a nod of appreciation to everything he’s unknowingly done.
Having been open about your eating disorder, what is the relationship between that and your food reviews? Were they used as a means to make that relationship healthier?
Not really, it started out back along when I was 18 and trying to find my way out of anorexia, I stumbled into the eating disorder community on Instagram - the positive one where people encourage each other to recover. Non of the pro-ana nonsense.
It helped to take pretty pictures, and talk to the world. The more the account grew, I realised people weren’t really there for the pictures of food, they were there for me.
I still love doing food reviews, I just don’t post them online anymore. It’s more something that stays between me and the inner circle. Who are all equally passionate about food.
What is a piece of advice that changed your life?
You don’t learn when you’re talking, shut up and fucking listen.
What is your favourite food review you have done?
I miss my old local bakery called “The Early Bird”. To this day, I miss their pancakes and brownies. No one does it better than them.
What is your message to everybody else who has not started towards a hobby they might like?
The obvious, bloody stop thinking about it and do it. If you never try it once, you’ll never know.
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